Real Talk from Real Moms: Tips for Staying Fit

To celebrate Mother’s Day, today I’m featuring three members of my coaching community: two of my clients (Chelsea and Melissa) as well as my assistant coach, Jess. 

 

Although the time management cliche proclaims that “we all have the same 24 hours a day,” any parent knows this is not accurate. For moms, the bandwidth for self-care shrinks dramatically, and time management becomes far less predictable. I know that with my own daughter, my ability to have a consistent routine is deeply challenged! 

But having a healthy lifestyle is still important, even if you’re short on time – parents have an enormous influence on the lifetime health of their children.

So in today’s article, I’m featuring the counterpoint to the 24 hours argument, which is actually achievable as a parent: it’s not always about motivation. It’s about learning how to balance (and then re-balance) the limited time you have to work on your own personal fitness and nutrition goals, and each of these women – Melissa, Chelsea, and Jess – will be providing practical tips for staying fit and consistent amid the (occasional) turbulence of parenting. 

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On Finding Time for Workouts…

Chelsea: I work out early in the morning before the kids are awake. I’ve learned that if I try to push it until after work, it usually won’t happen or I’ll end up getting interrupted multiple times. Mornings are peaceful, and while it was hard at first to get into the habit of waking up early, it feels much easier now. It gives me uninterrupted time to focus on myself and my workout before the demands of family life and the workday begin.

Melissa: Finding times for workouts is hard with four kids all active in various activities. I had to really go against my instincts to put myself first instead of my household responsibilities. I had to make a conscious decision to allow my household responsibilities to be a bit messier and to have some things left undone on the to-do list. Additionally, I’ve started to frame my year into seasons when I have more or less time to focus on certain goals. Understanding this helps me to focus on the season rather than feeling like it’ll always be this way.

Coach Jess: I feel better physically, emotionally and mentally when I can workout about three times a week. So I make getting my workouts in a priority. I treat my workouts like a Zoom meeting or a dentist appointment-it gets scheduled directly onto my calendar. Each week on Sunday I take a look at the week ahead and then find the days when I’ll workout and reserve that time. If I can’t get all my workouts done during the week, I will occasionally work out on the weekend. My husband and I will trade off mornings (since that’s when we prefer to workout) so I may go on a Saturday morning while he’s home with the kids and then we’ll trade and he’ll go Sunday.

Me (Rachel): I work out in the morning before my day gets started. For me, this requires communication and cooperation – my husband and I trade off gym times in the early morning while we take turns getting your daughter ready and off to school. Most of the time, I take weekends “off” formal workouts.

On Balancing Your Nutrition with Your Family’s…

Chelsea: Most of the time, we all eat the same things. If we’re going out to dinner, I make sure to choose somewhere that has options for everyone so it doesn’t feel stressful or complicated. Family dinners are a really important part of my routine, and I usually make enough so I can have leftovers for lunch the next day too. I spend a lot of time researching healthy, clean recipes that the whole family will enjoy, and even if the kids don’t absolutely love every meal, they’ll still eat it, which I count as a win.

Melissa: I find balancing nutrition for my family helps me to stay more on track. My kids are older so we’re out of the phase where they only want chicken nuggets and goldfish. I try to make things like tacos or stir fry that piece together. That way they can have extra beans or chips and salsa and I can load up on the veggies. Everyone leaves the table happy. My youngest son has become obsessed with helping me make my morning smoothie which is a fun ritual for both of us. It also helps me to stay on track that my youngest son has a lot of food allergies. I’ve always had to take the time to read ingredients and be careful about where we eat out. I can see if you’re not used to this that this can be a hard transition. 

Coach Jess: In our house, breakfasts are staggered and we don’t all sit down together. I can get my kids what they like and then once they’re on the bus I can make myself what I like and need. Similarly, since we aren’t together for lunch, I can have what I want that aligns with my goals. Between breakfast, lunch and snacks, I can set myself up for success so that when I go into dinner time I can eat what the rest of my family is eating. Sometimes I may choose to have different portions of some of the items, but we all eat the same meal. 

Me (Rachel): Like Jess, we only eat our evening meal together as a family on weekdays. For me, it’s relatively easy to hit my personal nutrition targets throughout the day and then have a shared meal in the evening that’s a little more flexible. On weekends, we make things like cottage cheese pancakes for breakfast, too! I subscribe to Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility model, so I don’t usually cook separate “adult meals” and “kid meals.” It means we have to meet in the middle most of the time, and to be honest, we don’t always nail it. There are nights when my daughter eats only the vegetable, or only the grain, or only the protein – but I know that her entire diet is hitting targets on average, while I’m not over-stressing about menu planning.

On Handling the Regular Chaos of Life…

Chelsea: I try to give myself a lot of grace during those seasons. If I need to take a day off or dial back the intensity, I listen to my body and my mind. I think consistency matters more than perfection, so I do my best to stay on track most of the time, which helps me not feel derailed when life inevitably happens. A short break doesn’t undo all the work; it just means I’m adjusting to what my body and my family need in that moment.

Melissa: It’s the hardest when everyone is sick. With four kids sickness can drag on for an entire week or two in my house. Sometimes I’m up at night with the kids and get no sleep. What I’ve been doing is keeping a monthly calendar and I highlight the days I have some sort of physical activity (hike, go to the gym, take an extra walk, etc.), and at the end of the month I strive to have more days highlighted than not. Also, on the days I had planned the gym – but can’t go – I try to do an extra walk with the dogs or extra yoga at home just to keep my body moving and my behavior consistent. If I don’t, I will quickly lose motivation and not want to do it. 

Coach Jess: When things get busy or the schedule gets thrown off by something unexpected, I try my best to shift things around so I can get my workouts in. That might mean waking up and going to the gym early. It isn’t fun when the alarm goes off, but once you’re there, it’s fine and I feel so much better the rest of the day. If that isn’t possible, then I figure out what I can do. Maybe I can go for a longer walk on my outside or on my walking pad. Maybe instead of a gym workout I can do a shorter workout video in my basement. As for nutrition, during hectic times I lean on things that I’m heating up, not necessarily cooking. Some of my go-to’s are things like rotisserie chicken, frozen veggies that are pre-sauced, prepared entrees from Costco, etc. 

Me (Rachel): There are times when my husband is traveling for work or when my daughter is sick that I really have to ease up. It’s tough at those times to not feel like I’m “falling behind,” but I just have to do what I tell my clients to do – have self-compassion and do what I can. 60-minute workouts turn into 20-minute workouts, lunch turns into a smoothie, and I remember that “something is better than nothing.” I also adjust my expectations for progress/results.

On Navigating Travel and Family Vacations…

Chelsea: When we travel, I try to plan ahead so I don’t end up taking too much time off from working out. If it’s just a short trip, I’ll usually adjust my schedule a little before or after. If we’re traveling for more than a few days, I try to look at it as more of a recovery period instead of stressing about missed workouts. I also like to stay active while we’re away, whether that’s hiking, walking on the beach in the morning or evening, biking, or finding other ways to build movement naturally into the trip.

Melissa: Travel is hard. I’m not much of a snacker so I only pack snacks for the kids. I’ve been focusing on keeping breakfast and lunch consistent the past two times I’ve traveled and that seems to help me stay more on track and not over eat at dinner. Also when I eat out I focus on ordering the salmon with veggies rather than the plate of pasta. I save the plate of pasta for one special night rather than an entire week of eating out. 

Coach Jess: When I travel with my family, I try to make healthy choices where I can throughout my day, but I try not to stress out too much about it. I focus on getting protein and some kind of produce at each meal and then whatever else happens, happens. Since we only get to go on vacation maybe twice a year, I really try to enjoy that time. Depending on where we are going, sometimes I will bring workout clothes to go on a jog somewhere new, but oftentimes I will just skip it.

Me (Rachel): It definitely depends on the trip! If it’s a corporate-y hotel chain with a gym, I will certainly work out! All around the country, I have been sighted in hotel gyms with my daughter on headphones and an iPad! I really enjoy exploring different hotel gyms. But if I’m in Europe getting 20,000 steps a day, I will probably skip formal workouts and just do what my body feels like doing – maybe some stretches, core work, hip work, etc.

On Putting Yourself First (Sometimes)…

Chelsea: I prioritize self-care now far more than I ever used to. I’ve realized that I’m the best version of myself, as a mom, wife, and professional, when I’m taking care of myself first. For me, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s what allows me to show up better for everyone else. When I feel strong, rested, and grounded, everything else in my life works better too.

Melissa: This has been a hard shift to put myself first instead of cleaning the house. I still put the kids activities first (my husband and I split this responsibility with four kids you have to). But I’ve just had to accept that not everything will be ticked off the todo list. Chores will always be there no matter what so my long term health became the obvious priority. I also focus on the mindset that this is a temporary season and I want to show up for all the seasons. I want to be active in my retirement so it starts with my habits now. 

Coach Jess: For me, taking care of my health and wellness is a huge part of my self care. When I am lifting weights regularly, eating 3 meals a day with some snacks and getting at least 7 hours of sleep, I function so much better. In addition to that, I try to have something that I’m doing just for me. It could be reading a good book or doing something crafty. It doesn’t necessarily happen everyday, but having that outlet really helps my mental health in a good place. 

Me (Rachel): When I prioritize workouts and nutrition goals like getting enough protein and fiber, I truly do feel and perform better in life – my mental and emotional muscles are stronger, too. That being said, my self-care “non-negotiables” have evolved over the years, because of reduced bandwidth – I need (1) at least 20-30 minutes to myself every day, which I would typically use to exercise, (2) a healthy breakfast, even if the morning is nuts, and (3) time to be mindful and chill, whether that’s meditation or reading.

On Setting a Healthy Body Image Example for Your Kids…

Chelsea: I’m really intentional about the language I use when I talk about myself, my body, and my health around my kids. I try not to use words like “fat” or “skinny,” and instead focus on how good I feel when I take care of myself. I want them to hear conversations centered around being healthy, strong, energized, and nourished, not appearance alone. I hope that by modeling that mindset, they grow up with a healthy and positive relationship with their own bodies too.

Melissa: Body image is a hard one. My kids know I track my food and make workouts a priority. I try to put the focus on my goals and achievements instead of my looks. For instance I’ll say at the dinner table I shaved ten seconds off my mile, I did the stair climber the whole time with no hands and my weighted vest, or I’m almost able to do a pull up. About two months ago I started doing 15 minutes of yoga everyday and my kids love to do this with me. We talk about how flexible we are. And my oldest loves coming to the gym with me and challenging me to workout harder. Including them has actually helped me to shift my mindset out of wanting to have a certain body to wanting to be stronger or faster instead. Of course I still want a certain body but this helps. Also, my kids help me and my husband in the kitchen. They’re all in varying stages of learning to cook. My oldest can cook entire meals and my youngest can cut any vegetable and make eggs on her own. So we talk a lot about the structure of meals and the importance of having balanced meals rather than dieting.

Coach Jess: I remember getting comments about my own body starting in about second grade. So I really try not to talk about my kids bodies at all. When I do, it’s from a place of “look how strong you are/look what amazing things your body can do”. I am also very aware of how I talk about my own body around them, because I remember my mom making bad comments about her body growing up. I know I probably haven’t been perfect, but I am trying to do better than the previous generation.

Me (Rachel): Like many women my age, I remember the constant body-talk from my formative years. Now, I am mindful about (1) not talking about my own weight or body shape, (2) not commenting on my daughter’s body other than to praise a skill like dance, (3) connecting exercise to self-care and health instead of weight, and (4) eating family meals together without unnecessary commentary. My daughter did a nutrition unit in Kindergarten, which unexpectedly opened up the conversation around food groups like proteins, grains, dairy, and fruits/veggies. It has been a great jumping-off point for talking about healthy food choices without being weight-focused.

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Did you enjoy these moms’ tips for staying fit? If you are inspired and want to level up your own fitness and health, feel free to set up a free consultation here to chat about your goals and what kind of program would be the right fit for you!